Ressurection Sashimi

by Philthevoid on April 14, 2009

Hello fellow mosaic people,

This is Phil. (waves hand) Okay, I’ll be first to say it: Where have all the bloggers gone?! I understand the irony of me making such an open and bold observation, given I kinda fell off the map for half a year, but c’mon people – let’s get the dialogue going again! Lon as usual, has been doing a great service by providing regular sustenance for our blogging appetite! But all that time in the wordpress kitchen must get tiring. Good thing we gotA?a fresh bottle of champagne on Easter Sunday to help us setup for the next course.

Anybody up for some sashimi? A little bit of floundering around,A?an attempt toA?acquire the taste for something different, and keeping it RAW.A? How Ia??ve been living my life…

If you’d be so kind toA?haveA?a taste ofA?whatA?I’ve prepared, I’d like to do threeA?things with this blog.A?(1) Apologize. (2) Explain. And, (3) Encourage.

(1) Apologies

I want to apologize for disappearing without a trace back in the fall.A?Knowing asA?tactful as you all are, I was surprised nobody came out bluntly and asked me: “WHERE the heck have you been in the last, oh i dunno, lastA?6 months?!?!” Most whom were brave enough to ask, would inquire in a more polished manner “so… what have you been up to?” I would deflect the question with a few quick answers to satisfy the curiosity. Oh y’know, I’ve been really busy with work… setting up my new condo… working on many side projects… and finishA?off the thought with the severing of follow-up questionsA?by turning the lazy-susan with a:A?”what about YOU”?A? I am sorry for being so distant.

(2) Explanations

Yes,A? it is true that Ia??ve been busy at work. Yes, it is true that Ia??ve been working on my new condo. Yes, it is true that Ia??ve been working on many side projects. But to be completely honest a?? I needed a renewal. I needed to break the cycle I was in. Coming to Mosaic was spiritually-enhancing for many months… but some time in the fall, I realized I was falling into a mould. I was becoming stagnant. I had to break out and a??experience God in a new and fresh waya??. And out there on my own, I dabbled in connecting with some other Christ followers, I checked out the Meeting Place, and well – I also sinned greatly out there on my own. I was thirsting for something different. But that selfish need for change manifested itself into a quest for self-actualization, compromising what God likely intended, and landed me in an awkward spot that required me to perform a self-rescue. A?I know my explanation probably sounds little more than a riddle of abstracts… I guess what Ia??m really saying is that a?? I wanted to go solo, but know I need help.

(3) Encouragement

I have an inkling my outwardly (sometime emotional) expressions probably make people uncomfortable. A?But I hope my sharing might have spark something inside you today. My hope is that somebody will come with me on a journey – out there. I know at church we all sit and stare at our feet and at the ceiling whenever Pastor Ka or Lon propose a participatory reaction. We are good at bottling up our thoughts and feelings. We like to save every last drop for ourselves. For those who have taken the Jesus Meal before, you know the comfort you feel to drink from the cup, believing the Son of God has died for your sins. But remember, as Pastor Ka rightly pointed out on Sunday, it is the celebration of Jesusa?? resurrection that we should be cracking the bottles open for this renewed life. People know I like my drinks. Sinful as it may be, Ia??m hoping somebody will free-pour with me.

1 comment

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Lon April 15, 2009 at 10:44 am

great post Phil, and yes we missed you too! I think we all need help opening up that bottle… sometimes just from the cap, other times we just need a good wack in the side to break open.

I’m really hoping Mosaic can be a place where people can be as they are, but also be inspired to openly take steps towards being who God’s calling them out to be…


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